We’re facing life after the wedding already?

We all know how the wedding day can be magical. It brings a couple together surrounded by family and friends to pledge their hearts and futures, filled with love, romance, family, happiness, adventure and the kind of togetherness they both know they will be able to count on and give to one another no matter what the future holds.

Their eyes meet, the room is hushed, he kisses his bride and everyone in the room can almost physically feel the extraordinary joy in couple’s hearts. Ah! So why would ANYONE think THIS kind of magic could fade?

Well, that is what I wanted to know because while talking with newlyweds I found out that the rate of this kind of magic disappearing right after the wedding seemed outrageous and completely unnecessary.

And since the main purpose of Cherries Over Quicksand books is to keep marriages and families together and happy, I was on the case.

During my global research for my books I met many newly marrieds who were ready to run, but then suddenly remembered how they couldn’t wait to be a loving spouse and would have been devastated if the proposal had not led to planning their lives together.

Many of these, anxious newly un-singles, were super happy they woke up and stopped acting like their NEW spouse was the LUCKY one, the minute they found their suitcases packed and waiting for them at the door, Phew! Just in time! LOL! And now have wonderful marriages. Thank God. Ahh! But seriously…

The stories of post marriage attitude changes turning completely negative, with the new husband or wife already calling friends and family to voice their panicked concerns that they, “Should have never gotten married!” within weeks of the honeymoon were racking up! BUT Then I met other newlyweds who still melted each other like hot fudge on French vanilla ice cream… well into the second year; “So what’s up with that?” I wondered out loud, and married people were happy to give me their surprise revelations.

Is it possible all newlyweds have the potential to not only, have an enchanting honeymoon but also have romances, just like yummy hot fudge sundaes forever? Mmmm… Hot fudge, I’m getting hungry. LOL!!

First so you know, this is such a secretive subject that when people tell me about their secret wish that their shiny new spouse would INSIST on living in separate apartments or that the first week of their marriage was like being trapped on a hamster wheel in a hall of mirrors, then complained that No one could EVER imagine the marriage chaos they have been bravely enduring… I understood.  But I couldn’t help thinking back as they complained/explained their nightmare dilemma’s.

My mind would return to, the military bases where I spoke with soldiers and the families of returning soldiers dealing with all kinds marriage and family issues due to war, or to homeless shelters where I spoke with people that have met with the kinds of marriage devastation no one could ever expect, and to hospice facilities where some people in their last days wanted to share how they wished they had cherished the romance they could have had with their spouse… And when I was working in Family Law firms where I met Heartbroken people, completely devastated, trying to define the pain in their hearts. So I did not have to imagine, I knew many hard facts… but through it all, I knew even the Most Chaotic stories can end in the Most heroic happy marriages Ever!

So what do the Average newlywed chaos stories include?

They include but are not limited to:

Newlyweds with sleepwalking in-laws that moved in with them their first year of marriage. Newlyweds that had adopted each other’s very “Active” children and had been added to the DON’T ANSWER lists of every babysitter. Couples that have lost their jobs, moved to a city where they didn’t know anyone, had major health issues, crashed their car, grew out of their cloths because they had replaced their sex lives with giant drive-thru banquets … or had come home to find way too many rescued cats living in their bathroom… and THEY still stayed completely IN LOVE! So how do they do it? These are nine popular answers:

  1. The Ladies said to, remember to continue to listen and genuinely admire your man, and express appreciation in full sincere sentences or better, Full body contact ladies. ;D
  2. When a woman gets dressed up or on any day she’s looking fresh, her man should Still compliment her even After they are married! Sorry, guys but you need to be reminded!
  3. Sexual attraction is mostly mental, if he starts leaving his underwear in front of the toilet right where he took them off then she steps over his not-so-whitey-tighties to do her lady-business with the bathroom door open… big surprise:  The sexual attraction is going to fade… (And no pretending you didn’t know… this Should be Obvious everyone!)  So if you do any of the stinky things on the “Men’s or Ladies Don’t do list” continued in the next Cherries Over Quicksand (this list of requests were collected directly from the people that wish their partner would be sexy again)… just stop doing those crazy things and get your romance power back before they can’t shake image of you spitting on your own foot and wiping it on the dog. Ew! It happens!
  4. Men and ladies, Married does not equate to ANTIQUE… you must keep touching… with that sexy touch you used before the marriage and appreciate it when your partner touches you. Passion and sex is relationship glue so smooth any cracks regularly and frequently. That’s right! And make each other smile, Big!
  5. She watched sports with him before the wedding; but now (like many men complained), she turns off his sports and demands dinner at the table every single night! Boo!…. Family time is important but, She could sometimes do something like find a nearby college playing his favorite sport, buy the $7 tickets and surprises him then watches him smile, because his New wife Rocks! Then at the game say, “YES to hotdogs!” No cooking or dishes! Yea!
  6. If he took her out for fun dates before they were married he should continue to want and Offer to take her out… if her eyes light up … he just made big points. A man wanting to show off his wife makes her heart sore through the clouds. It just does guys. If money is an issue, just get outside; go for a walk in the fresh air or even in the rain if that’s something she likes! Just have fun together! Even if she chooses to enjoy the night at home alone with him, he still made Huge Man Points for letting her know that he still loves to show off his bride.
  7. Before getting married, go to some sort of pre-marriage counseling to go over the many surprise changes that happen after marriage because you both need to be sure you will be on the same cheer squad when that stick turns to blue-baby boy triplets blue.   That way you already know you both will be lovingly and Politely taking turns sleeping for the next two years; so cute. Ah! Yawn. LOL!! Babies are Adorable. (I have twin boys so I know… and they already graduated high school. Happy mom!) When you are sure about your love, there should not be any fear of the “Big Hairy Counselor LOL! …Or just scary counselor”… people are so afraid! Just keep holding hands… because marriage can be magical with all the tools.
  8. Path to boring: Acting jealous, fighting over who replaces the toilet paper roll or where to squeeze the toothpaste. If it bugs you that much get your own tube of toothpaste and realize that; a new roll of toilet paper already replaced is super appreciated by your other half, (silently cheering from their seat).  “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” (Proverbs 20:3)                                                                                          [And you Know this is true for men, women and children, so just keep being awesome.]
  1. Spend fun time together at least a few times a week from the very Beginning with refreshments and fresh air… but not necessarily at the same time, relax. When you seed a lawn you must water and it needs sunshine but you can water it at night and let the sun bring that energy to the day. …Metaphors are fun.

These points are for extra credit… and for a little chuckle:

  1. Give each other space. Living with someone all of a sudden can feel a little claustrophobic… especially the fifth time one trips over the other sitting right out side the bathroom door. Not good
  2. Go ahead and use words to make him feel physically BIGGER and her feel physically smaller than her man. With romance women love to feel like they have a powerful man but in a protective way and men like to know she wants the feminine role, even if she is doing her Ninja moves in her new lingerie, he still wants his obvious man-muscles admired.
  3. Lastly for today: Cherish your man or woman with loving understanding like every thought you have about each other will be Broadcasted on HUGE Billboard… because when you Honor each other in your hearts and heads, It shows in your eyes and in your touch. When something disappointing happens, approach the problem with Understand, not Grand-standing. Then if you do end up on a billboard, you will be wearing a well-earned crown.

So… do your pre-wedding homework and remember, flirting with each other after marriage is hot, be thankful for each other, treat Her like the beautiful woman you married and ladies… adore your hot Man! And kiss a lot!! It’s mandatory and baffles other married couples! LOL!! Just kidding. It will inspire other married couples.

Congratulations newlyweds, there are more hints in Cherries Over Quicksand, I look forward to hearing from you here, on Facebook or on the Love Bites with Rhonda and Jon Show comment board! And that’s it for today. ;D

XOXO!

Rhonda Ricardo

Media: For “Love Coach” print, script or broadcast -Dating, Engagement, Wedding, Marriage, Family, Relationship and Romance content you are welcome to contact Rhonda Ricardo at: rhondaricardo@hotmail.com.

Extra: Marriage findings from Woman’s Day Magazine link:  The 10 Most Fascinating Marriage Findings…

CNN.com: Smart ways to keep your marriage healthy

1. Watch your waistline… (Great advice!) 4. Make sex a priority-but not a chore… (even pastors agree with this one… Amen!) 7. Gab a little to your friend.  Hmmm??? What do you think of this one?

Married people don’t really want to tell their friends those things their husband or wife trusts to be keep behind closed doors.   So what can you do if you are wondering if you are the only one dealing with a similar situation?  … “I have this friend whose husband has been…” Ah! Major transparent fail!

And, hopefully the confidant doesn’t get bored and tell Your story about “this friend” at the school fundraiser get-together.  What’s wild is when that delicate (and very interesting) story gets told and retold, then back to the original (and shocked) couple in that community… It happens!

When I ask people for their… why they left and then wanted to go back to a relationship, stories for Cherries Over Quicksand… they know I will be changing their name, hair color and maybe their height and weight when I write their hidden romance lessons for others to learn from, so they’re ready to help other couples in any way they can… and I’ve been told that it’s kind of cool to be written as a 6’2″ cowboy in black boots!

I like the attached  CNN article, but how do you ask a friend about your ‘behind closed doors’ concerns? or should you?

Speaking to the troops 1

I love speaking to the troops and their spouses about keeping families together by taking care to guard each other’s hearts and having that loving bond that lets their deployed husband or wife know that they are cherished at home… and I love giving away Cherries Over Quicksand books for the best “Hoorah!” yell.  We have fun!  (This is one of my favorite pictures with Welcome Home Troops and some amazing soldiers volunteering for the day, at an event at Lake Elsinore.)

I’ll never forget another event, when I spoke at a Camp Pendleton on the beach and we (me and the two lady comedians) found out that we had to walk about a quarter-mile in the sand to get to the stage.  I was wearing a cute skirt and Betty Grable high heals.  Instead of approaching the watchful crowd with the usual light dance in my step… my feet and shoes kept disappearing into the soft sand.  The three of us ladies couldn’t help but giggle at how we must have looked to the crowd as we struggled to the stage, smiling like nothing was wrong.

 

 

When we finally made it to the stage, a soldier took my hand with caring concern, then said in a charming but loud southern drawl, “We didn’t know if you were going to make it Mam!”

All four of us were laughing now, as he helped us pull ourselves onto the stage, then the audience joined in our laughter.  Our unplanned hilarious approach had set the stage for a fabulous day.

That afternoon we were lucky enough to experience one of those surprise crazy life moments that made a u-turn… right into a blessing.

I wonder what would have happened if we had just laid down in the sand… maybe they would have sent the rescue team to get us?   Ah!

We decided that Embarrassing is Good right? lol!!

I would like to thank our troops, on this Memorial Day, for their service and caring hearts.

God bless you-all!

What would be pictured on your book cover?   And for extra credit… why?

This is the my 2nd Edition Cherries Over Quicksand book cover. The reason they look so happy is, well for one thing they are a happy couple. My models are family and they make a point of telling people that they have read the book! lol! My favorite response from readers is that… they just want to be nice to their woman or man because they “get it” now, and want to live the fun romance they began with… forever! That’s always pure happiness for me to hear!

It looks like my next book cover will be a deep ruby red and a little mysterious. Now that my readership is over thirty percent male, I am really having fun with the graphic-creative (is that a word? ;) ) side of authoring.

I am told by industry professionals that the title and the author name should always be readable from across the book store, that the lettering should not be too fancy and the graphics should tell a story or the theme of the book. I like that my books are placed next to Anthony Robbins books (Ricardo… Robbins) on the book shelves, it’s such a cozy and interesting place to be… and very busy!

What would be pictured on your book cover? And why? Can we have a little hint about your story? ;D

 

Last night I was talking with a friend about dating.  “What would you want to do on a date?” he asked.  I’m in the middle of so many deadlines I had to purposely change my thinking channel from writing to dating… I know, that’s kind of odd since I write about dating. lol!

Anyway, I decided that an evening ocean cruise would be fun.  I told him that I have always loved the feel of sea-spray on my face and the wind in my hair.  Lately the closest I have come to sea-spray in my face or hair is driving on PCH with the top down on my car… on my way to visit my dad, but that’s pretty cool too.

As I was thinking of fun times, sailing or cruising through ocean waves, I saw a “Google Alert” on my computer!

I love Google Alerts.  They are usually alerts from businesses that have found my Cherries Over Quicksand books, columns, radio shows or the Love Bites YouTube television show  I co-host with Jon Hansen.

It’s like someone saying, “Hey we found you and we Like You… we really, really like you!”  (Hehe!! I love Sally Field.)

Last night’s “Google Alert” was for Cherries Over Quicksand on Lybrary.com.  I went to the link where I saw that Lybrary.com has my book featured and all set up to sell on their site to people all over the world in their different currencies!   Readers living in Italy, England, Spain, France… or wherever… will be able to buy my book and know exactly the price in their currency at this Lybrary.com site.

I was so happy that someone else (a stranger) had found my book and decided to promote it… Again.  To me, that’s as awesome as a boat ride in the ocean, it was a great night.

A note to writers:  This is what can happen as Author’s get their books and names out on social media.  You never know who will want to have you speak at their event… or Feature you in a magazine, newspaper, on television or the radio… or on their site to help readers actually Purchase your book!

Authoring is fun.  I hope I’m inspiring those of you out there with a book just ready to fly out of your keyboard and onto pages then off to a publisher or printer so your book is available to readers.  I know it’s not easy, but no more waiting… get started okay?

Oh… and this morning, I woke up to a fabulous poem (or song?) about the wind, texted to my phone, from my friend.  Now I’m thinking about that ocean cruise again… poo…  back to work! lol!

 

 

I like to know a little something about my new reader before I sign a brand new book… so I can make the note I write inside Cherries Over Quicksand, personal and fun… but never silly or wild… okay sometimes, but only if the occasion calls for it! ;D

Sometimes I end up talking on the phone with readers especially if they are also aspire writers.  I have made many new friends around the world through becoming an author and hope to inspire others to do the same!

You can message me here or send me an email at: rhondaricardo@hotmail.com if you would like to order a personally signed 2nd Edition, Cherries Over Quicksand… and maybe talk about authoring too!

So, let me ask you… How would you sign your book?

XOXO                                                                                                            Cherries Over Quicksand.Signing                                                                                                                    Rhonda Ricardo 

Health care h#!!, TMZ, Lois Lane, links to amazing HELP!... And a place to post your website.

Health care Angels out there… TMZ, Lois Lane, links to amazing HELP!… And a place to post your website.

When people find out I work as a newspaper journalist they ask me all kinds of questions about how I get my stories.  They want to know if I write a political column, an advice column, if I get my stories like TMZ (LOL! No!), or if it’s just like being Lois Lane… the costume with my press-pass hat (above) I wore to the Halloween event I covered last week… and not one Superman costume in the crowd! Ah!;).

And the answer is… I write about leaders that raise amazing amounts of funds for people in all kinds of need from the elderly, to babies… and many of the people in-between facing unforeseen villain’s, like hunger, domestic violence and the big C; villain’s that snuck up on friends, family and neighbors to steal their joy.

These leaders (heroes) bring that joy back and I get to interview them to tell people (readers of my newspaper column) where to get the help they need or how more people can assist the non-profit to help even more people-in-need. These leaders (some revealed below) know how to bring the communities together, get their messages out and raise money while thanking their supporters with enjoyable nights of music, entertainment and gourmet meals; a huge win/win. I routinely see hundreds of new attendees come together to enjoy giving to needy causes while encouraging each other to give More! It is a very cool experience to write about, and I know how blessed I am to interview these leaders and giving people. How do they do it? (Revealed at the link below.)

So… what does this have to do with health-care? I think we have all either heard or read the troubling stories of people not being able to afford their needed health care. I don’t like hearing about how the health care world has gone mad but then I remember: It’s not so much about what is going on, it’s about how we react (with love) to what’s going on in our lives…

1 Corinthians 13:5-7 It (Love) does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

…but how do people in dire need keep a good attitude when they are presented with so much strife? Well, maybe they can get help and retain their strength by researching an additional phone number:

There are ordinary-extraordinary people all over the world that start foundations to help other’s facing catastrophic life issues or health hardships and their phone numbers or websites can be found on the Internet.  When I cover events that will benefit these caring foundations attendees regularly refer to the leaders and volunteers as “Angels” because they give their hearts, understanding and time to people in need.

Some people do not know about the many foundation’s and the volunteers that give their energy to raising monies to be able to help people facing the life’s storms that are close to each Foundation’s heart. Families in dire need of help with hospice care, diabetes, autism, child care and even animal care may find the answers they need by searching “Foundations”… then talking with a person at the appropriate foundation that is dedicated to helping people with that specific need, even if the caller cannot pay for the services.

It’s endearing to hear the stories of the people that have started some of these foundations, the one’s that were lost when needing help themselves, then like so many thankful people decided to become giving volunteers and tireless leaders to help other’s facing the same types of storms.

If someone you know is wondering how they are going to make it through without the money or insurance they need… please pass this message on or research the “Foundations” in their area yourself, then watch those in need relax and start healing with the love you just gave them.

When the San Diego Union-Tribune acquired The Californian/The North County Times I was not sure what I expected as far as continuing to write for the newspaper but… not only have I continued to cover major events that help those in need and interview our communities leaders, now for the San Diego Union-Tribune, they have added my new columns to some of my old (NC Times) columns (back to 2007) and photos at one convenient link.

You may find the organization that fills a need for your family or friends… or one you would like to help or call to inquire about volunteering… here at this link:

http://www.utsandiego.com/search/vertical/news.story/?q=Rhonda%20Ricardo

 

Yes, there are even organizations that will get children their school clothing needs or young ladies the prom dress they have always dreamt of! If you do not have a need for a foundation’s help, maybe you just discovered a foundation need you may want to fill in your community!

If you are starting a foundation or have a foundation that helps our world please post your link in the comments here! Thank you and God bless!

The Many Fabulous Arts and The Art of Business, continued...

How do artist choose the projects they will bring it to their audiences in this era?

I love the arts, they are beautiful, powerful and inspiring, especially music, sculpture, paintings, film, writing, acting, and dance, because each allows the artist make a statement and the audience a chance to enjoy their works.

While I was looking through the top grossing movies of 2013 what I noticed was our world’s viewing preferences were strong in character. As a writer I found it encouraging to see that our audience populations are primarily being drawn to wonder, adventure, innocent beauty, teamwork, kindness, family, goals, wisdom and dreams when spending their funds and time on entertainment.

“The arts are an even better barometer of what is happening in our world than the stock market or the debates in congress.” -Hendrik Willem Van Loon

Today’s IMDb Top 20 Highest Grossing Movies of 2013 (So Far) list reveals that the top four grossing movies are filled with excitement, fun, love and adventure with uplifting music for the more “family-minded” audience and I believe that speaks highly for what our world is craving, and that’s great news.

I speak with artists that are wondering if they need to delve into the darker or profane sides of their art genre to get noticed, it is a struggle many artists have faced.  Here, we can all see with this Top 4 Movie multi-million dollar grossing list (below) where the top movie attendance population has chosen to focus which could give artists a solid clue as to the direction people in our era want to spend their entertainment time and money.

1. Iron Man 3
2. Despicable Me 2  (Animated)
3. Man of Steel
4. Monsters University  (Animated)

So to those struggling artists I say…There will always be different sizes of audiences looking for the more shocking sides of art imitating life but today the world is primarily look toward fun-filled quests and action packed love stories mixed with family, friendship, adventures and human superhero’s, male and female that everyone can relate to whether in a painting, photograph, sculpture, dance, music, writing or visual arts, we all share that human spirit.

History shows, when dedicated artists let their strong character lead their artistic choices they will find their works instep with the fulfillment the world is craving.  If Hendrik Willem Van Loon (above) is correct, artists are doing a great job this year enlightening the world’s preferences! Happy creating artists!

*photo used with permission

Does it seem like… when one person in a group has jealousy issues and spying drama in their relationship the Green-Eyed Monster suspicions spread to surrounding couples like Vampires claiming more company? Jealousy is exhausting for the couple and all their friends listening to the stories, we hope this episode of Love Bites helps chase the monsters away to never bother happy loving couples again.

Everyone deserves trust, caring, mutual desires, gratitude and love in their romantic relationship. The list we share on this show for easily staying on the path to a non-jealous relationship is both comforting and sometimes embarrassing but I bet you all agree with the list after you listen to the show! I would love to read your comments. ;D

Extra: Please let us know what you think of the opening song “Energy” by Fire Tiger and their music video with singer Tiffany Alkouri at the end of the show… that lady has Energy! ;D

What is flirting? On this Love Bites we talk about how flirting is not all about physical attraction and sex, it is also about being interesting. Have you ever heard someone say, “The sex is great but he or she bores me” and wish their partner would just leave them alone or hides from their partner? It may seem like it would be difficult to stay continuously interesting or pleasantly mysterious in you partner’s eyes but on this Love Bites we talk about how to have the romance everyone deserves in their lives through Supercharged Flirting!

When I spoke with dating, engaged and married people about the subject’s their other-half talks about on the phone to keep the relationship romantic and spicy… I did need to use my Spanish dancer fan a few times but I received more funny or horrifyingly grotesque answers from people wishing their partner would be the hot person they dated in the beginning… so I had to include those answers too… heehe! And yes, Jon laughed and was a little confused at the strangely odd answers but we had fun on the show and ultimately we spelled out how to keep the passion in relationships through genuine continued flirting. I hope you enjoy the show here. ;D

Fun Trivia: Jon refers to Jennifer Cameron on the show, she is the mother of Jon’s four children and the love of his life looks like Marilyn Monroe, has an adorable laugh, their children are all under the age of ten and she also hosts the radio show “5 Alive”.

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