When is Silent Sexy?

December 15, 2010

Does your man come home, sit on the couch and stare at the television with his mouth open and finger in his ear or bellybutton?  Oops! Sorry if that image was too close to home.  Can your man sit through a meal and not hear a word of conversation around his head?  Guess what?…That’s completely normal.  He’s relaxed and feels safe and happy at home so why not enjoy his meal and zone out a little?  He’s probably had a hard day, so as long as he compliments the chef or helps with the dishes he figures everything is just perfect.

Then a new movie starts on television with a strong Clint Eastwood silent type and your man seems to really enjoy the character, and so do you!  So what’s the difference between Clint being silent and Happy Husband/Boyfriend being quiet?  It’s all in the technique, and not impossible for the everyday man to duplicate if he really wants to try.

Tom Selleck, Antonio Bandares, Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp have all played the silent type and the ladies fell in big love with them so why do we complain when our men are quiet?  I’ve done a little research and found that it is all in the attitude!

Tom Selleck has a silent humor about him that makes him delicious in just about every movie where he plays the slightly confused but confident guy like in Three Men and a Baby.  It is difficult for the leading lady not to want to rescue him while she is letting him rescue her too!  His face and eyebrows can say volumes and create weak knees with no words.

There is Johnny Depp’s silent, like in Chocolat, Benny and Joon  and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape where he can speak to his leading lady with his eyes, deliberately not answer her with words and make her swoon… not make her angry.

Antonio Bandares in Desperado and The Mask of Zorro talked to his leading ladies with his body.  Hey that man can strike a pose and it is nowhere near feminine!   Are there unsexy ways a man could use his posture to turn his woman off?  Oh yah!   If men could strike that balance of ‘I’m barley containing my manliness’ and  Bandares’, ‘You are the only woman for me’ stance, men would be way too powerful, but as long as they use it for good, I’m all for it!

When Brad Pitt talks it seems everyone listens but when he played Tristan in Legends of the Fall it was his masculine energy that commanded every scene, and that was okay with the ladies because it was more of a sensual presence not an angry or egotistical energy.   If his stare came in a spray can, the world would be filled with smiles!

I have met men who do not look anything like these movie stars but still bring all these strong silent talents into the house and others who leave their camping catalog on the floor in the bathroom so they can easily get back to reading where they left off; not sexy.   Men say they love physical attention.  Have they had the power to get what they want by watching these leading men and just changing their demeanor from slug to home run but just not try?

Why do men do the silent-thing but not use the masculine allure (attitude) we would all love in our lives?   Is there anything women can do to get their guys back on the flirt/romance track?  Also, how can guys show their ladies they will be onboard if she gets back on the flirt/romance track?