We’re facing life after the wedding already?

We all know how the wedding day can be magical. It brings a couple together surrounded by family and friends to pledge their hearts and futures, filled with love, romance, family, happiness, adventure and the kind of togetherness they both know they will be able to count on and give to one another no matter what the future holds.

Their eyes meet, the room is hushed, he kisses his bride and everyone in the room can almost physically feel the extraordinary joy in couple’s hearts. Ah! So why would ANYONE think THIS kind of magic could fade?

Well, that is what I wanted to know because while talking with newlyweds I found out that the rate of this kind of magic disappearing right after the wedding seemed outrageous and completely unnecessary.

And since the main purpose of Cherries Over Quicksand books is to keep marriages and families together and happy, I was on the case.

During my global research for my books I met many newly marrieds who were ready to run, but then suddenly remembered how they couldn’t wait to be a loving spouse and would have been devastated if the proposal had not led to planning their lives together.

Many of these, anxious newly un-singles, were super happy they woke up and stopped acting like their NEW spouse was the LUCKY one, the minute they found their suitcases packed and waiting for them at the door, Phew! Just in time! LOL! And now have wonderful marriages. Thank God. Ahh! But seriously…

The stories of post marriage attitude changes turning completely negative, with the new husband or wife already calling friends and family to voice their panicked concerns that they, “Should have never gotten married!” within weeks of the honeymoon were racking up! BUT Then I met other newlyweds who still melted each other like hot fudge on French vanilla ice cream… well into the second year; “So what’s up with that?” I wondered out loud, and married people were happy to give me their surprise revelations.

Is it possible all newlyweds have the potential to not only, have an enchanting honeymoon but also have romances, just like yummy hot fudge sundaes forever? Mmmm… Hot fudge, I’m getting hungry. LOL!!

First so you know, this is such a secretive subject that when people tell me about their secret wish that their shiny new spouse would INSIST on living in separate apartments or that the first week of their marriage was like being trapped on a hamster wheel in a hall of mirrors, then complained that No one could EVER imagine the marriage chaos they have been bravely enduring… I understood.  But I couldn’t help thinking back as they complained/explained their nightmare dilemma’s.

My mind would return to, the military bases where I spoke with soldiers and the families of returning soldiers dealing with all kinds marriage and family issues due to war, or to homeless shelters where I spoke with people that have met with the kinds of marriage devastation no one could ever expect, and to hospice facilities where some people in their last days wanted to share how they wished they had cherished the romance they could have had with their spouse… And when I was working in Family Law firms where I met Heartbroken people, completely devastated, trying to define the pain in their hearts. So I did not have to imagine, I knew many hard facts… but through it all, I knew even the Most Chaotic stories can end in the Most heroic happy marriages Ever!

So what do the Average newlywed chaos stories include?

They include but are not limited to:

Newlyweds with sleepwalking in-laws that moved in with them their first year of marriage. Newlyweds that had adopted each other’s very “Active” children and had been added to the DON’T ANSWER lists of every babysitter. Couples that have lost their jobs, moved to a city where they didn’t know anyone, had major health issues, crashed their car, grew out of their cloths because they had replaced their sex lives with giant drive-thru banquets … or had come home to find way too many rescued cats living in their bathroom… and THEY still stayed completely IN LOVE! So how do they do it? These are nine popular answers:

  1. The Ladies said to, remember to continue to listen and genuinely admire your man, and express appreciation in full sincere sentences or better, Full body contact ladies. ;D
  2. When a woman gets dressed up or on any day she’s looking fresh, her man should Still compliment her even After they are married! Sorry, guys but you need to be reminded!
  3. Sexual attraction is mostly mental, if he starts leaving his underwear in front of the toilet right where he took them off then she steps over his not-so-whitey-tighties to do her lady-business with the bathroom door open… big surprise:  The sexual attraction is going to fade… (And no pretending you didn’t know… this Should be Obvious everyone!)  So if you do any of the stinky things on the “Men’s or Ladies Don’t do list” continued in the next Cherries Over Quicksand (this list of requests were collected directly from the people that wish their partner would be sexy again)… just stop doing those crazy things and get your romance power back before they can’t shake image of you spitting on your own foot and wiping it on the dog. Ew! It happens!
  4. Men and ladies, Married does not equate to ANTIQUE… you must keep touching… with that sexy touch you used before the marriage and appreciate it when your partner touches you. Passion and sex is relationship glue so smooth any cracks regularly and frequently. That’s right! And make each other smile, Big!
  5. She watched sports with him before the wedding; but now (like many men complained), she turns off his sports and demands dinner at the table every single night! Boo!…. Family time is important but, She could sometimes do something like find a nearby college playing his favorite sport, buy the $7 tickets and surprises him then watches him smile, because his New wife Rocks! Then at the game say, “YES to hotdogs!” No cooking or dishes! Yea!
  6. If he took her out for fun dates before they were married he should continue to want and Offer to take her out… if her eyes light up … he just made big points. A man wanting to show off his wife makes her heart sore through the clouds. It just does guys. If money is an issue, just get outside; go for a walk in the fresh air or even in the rain if that’s something she likes! Just have fun together! Even if she chooses to enjoy the night at home alone with him, he still made Huge Man Points for letting her know that he still loves to show off his bride.
  7. Before getting married, go to some sort of pre-marriage counseling to go over the many surprise changes that happen after marriage because you both need to be sure you will be on the same cheer squad when that stick turns to blue-baby boy triplets blue.   That way you already know you both will be lovingly and Politely taking turns sleeping for the next two years; so cute. Ah! Yawn. LOL!! Babies are Adorable. (I have twin boys so I know… and they already graduated high school. Happy mom!) When you are sure about your love, there should not be any fear of the “Big Hairy Counselor LOL! …Or just scary counselor”… people are so afraid! Just keep holding hands… because marriage can be magical with all the tools.
  8. Path to boring: Acting jealous, fighting over who replaces the toilet paper roll or where to squeeze the toothpaste. If it bugs you that much get your own tube of toothpaste and realize that; a new roll of toilet paper already replaced is super appreciated by your other half, (silently cheering from their seat).  “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” (Proverbs 20:3)                                                                                          [And you Know this is true for men, women and children, so just keep being awesome.]
  1. Spend fun time together at least a few times a week from the very Beginning with refreshments and fresh air… but not necessarily at the same time, relax. When you seed a lawn you must water and it needs sunshine but you can water it at night and let the sun bring that energy to the day. …Metaphors are fun.

These points are for extra credit… and for a little chuckle:

  1. Give each other space. Living with someone all of a sudden can feel a little claustrophobic… especially the fifth time one trips over the other sitting right out side the bathroom door. Not good
  2. Go ahead and use words to make him feel physically BIGGER and her feel physically smaller than her man. With romance women love to feel like they have a powerful man but in a protective way and men like to know she wants the feminine role, even if she is doing her Ninja moves in her new lingerie, he still wants his obvious man-muscles admired.
  3. Lastly for today: Cherish your man or woman with loving understanding like every thought you have about each other will be Broadcasted on HUGE Billboard… because when you Honor each other in your hearts and heads, It shows in your eyes and in your touch. When something disappointing happens, approach the problem with Understand, not Grand-standing. Then if you do end up on a billboard, you will be wearing a well-earned crown.

So… do your pre-wedding homework and remember, flirting with each other after marriage is hot, be thankful for each other, treat Her like the beautiful woman you married and ladies… adore your hot Man! And kiss a lot!! It’s mandatory and baffles other married couples! LOL!! Just kidding. It will inspire other married couples.

Congratulations newlyweds, there are more hints in Cherries Over Quicksand, I look forward to hearing from you here, on Facebook or on the Love Bites with Rhonda and Jon Show comment board! And that’s it for today. ;D

XOXO!

Rhonda Ricardo

Media: For “Love Coach” print, script or broadcast -Dating, Engagement, Wedding, Marriage, Family, Relationship and Romance content you are welcome to contact Rhonda Ricardo at: rhondaricardo@hotmail.com.

Extra: Marriage findings from Woman’s Day Magazine link:  The 10 Most Fascinating Marriage Findings…

Health care h#!!, TMZ, Lois Lane, links to amazing HELP!... And a place to post your website.

Health care Angels out there… TMZ, Lois Lane, links to amazing HELP!… And a place to post your website.

When people find out I work as a newspaper journalist they ask me all kinds of questions about how I get my stories.  They want to know if I write a political column, an advice column, if I get my stories like TMZ (LOL! No!), or if it’s just like being Lois Lane… the costume with my press-pass hat (above) I wore to the Halloween event I covered last week… and not one Superman costume in the crowd! Ah!;).

And the answer is… I write about leaders that raise amazing amounts of funds for people in all kinds of need from the elderly, to babies… and many of the people in-between facing unforeseen villain’s, like hunger, domestic violence and the big C; villain’s that snuck up on friends, family and neighbors to steal their joy.

These leaders (heroes) bring that joy back and I get to interview them to tell people (readers of my newspaper column) where to get the help they need or how more people can assist the non-profit to help even more people-in-need. These leaders (some revealed below) know how to bring the communities together, get their messages out and raise money while thanking their supporters with enjoyable nights of music, entertainment and gourmet meals; a huge win/win. I routinely see hundreds of new attendees come together to enjoy giving to needy causes while encouraging each other to give More! It is a very cool experience to write about, and I know how blessed I am to interview these leaders and giving people. How do they do it? (Revealed at the link below.)

So… what does this have to do with health-care? I think we have all either heard or read the troubling stories of people not being able to afford their needed health care. I don’t like hearing about how the health care world has gone mad but then I remember: It’s not so much about what is going on, it’s about how we react (with love) to what’s going on in our lives…

1 Corinthians 13:5-7 It (Love) does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

…but how do people in dire need keep a good attitude when they are presented with so much strife? Well, maybe they can get help and retain their strength by researching an additional phone number:

There are ordinary-extraordinary people all over the world that start foundations to help other’s facing catastrophic life issues or health hardships and their phone numbers or websites can be found on the Internet.  When I cover events that will benefit these caring foundations attendees regularly refer to the leaders and volunteers as “Angels” because they give their hearts, understanding and time to people in need.

Some people do not know about the many foundation’s and the volunteers that give their energy to raising monies to be able to help people facing the life’s storms that are close to each Foundation’s heart. Families in dire need of help with hospice care, diabetes, autism, child care and even animal care may find the answers they need by searching “Foundations”… then talking with a person at the appropriate foundation that is dedicated to helping people with that specific need, even if the caller cannot pay for the services.

It’s endearing to hear the stories of the people that have started some of these foundations, the one’s that were lost when needing help themselves, then like so many thankful people decided to become giving volunteers and tireless leaders to help other’s facing the same types of storms.

If someone you know is wondering how they are going to make it through without the money or insurance they need… please pass this message on or research the “Foundations” in their area yourself, then watch those in need relax and start healing with the love you just gave them.

When the San Diego Union-Tribune acquired The Californian/The North County Times I was not sure what I expected as far as continuing to write for the newspaper but… not only have I continued to cover major events that help those in need and interview our communities leaders, now for the San Diego Union-Tribune, they have added my new columns to some of my old (NC Times) columns (back to 2007) and photos at one convenient link.

You may find the organization that fills a need for your family or friends… or one you would like to help or call to inquire about volunteering… here at this link:

http://www.utsandiego.com/search/vertical/news.story/?q=Rhonda%20Ricardo

 

Yes, there are even organizations that will get children their school clothing needs or young ladies the prom dress they have always dreamt of! If you do not have a need for a foundation’s help, maybe you just discovered a foundation need you may want to fill in your community!

If you are starting a foundation or have a foundation that helps our world please post your link in the comments here! Thank you and God bless!

Does it seem like… when one person in a group has jealousy issues and spying drama in their relationship the Green-Eyed Monster suspicions spread to surrounding couples like Vampires claiming more company? Jealousy is exhausting for the couple and all their friends listening to the stories, we hope this episode of Love Bites helps chase the monsters away to never bother happy loving couples again.

Everyone deserves trust, caring, mutual desires, gratitude and love in their romantic relationship. The list we share on this show for easily staying on the path to a non-jealous relationship is both comforting and sometimes embarrassing but I bet you all agree with the list after you listen to the show! I would love to read your comments. ;D

Extra: Please let us know what you think of the opening song “Energy” by Fire Tiger and their music video with singer Tiffany Alkouri at the end of the show… that lady has Energy! ;D

SHOW LINK: Building to the: I LOVE YOU & I LOVE YOU TOO response…Here on “Love Bites With Rhonda Ricardo” on The Jon Hansen Show

We went out the other night to celebrate the new show’s success with a great dinner and margaritas. Fiesta Time!!!  And of course… There were lots of singles out having a blast and talking about their latest wild, crazy and/or fun romances so I was in Heaven!! LOL!! ;D

It’s funny… when I go out to coffee, there are usually a few people talking about their relationships who will bring me and my friends into their fun conversations and we get to meet cool new people… but when I go out at night it seems like Romance is the topic on everyone’s mind in the place!  So many Romance Questions!! And of course I love it!! ;D

I’m posting the latest “Love Bites with Rhonda Ricardo” on The Jon Hansen Show here at a the LINK… but be ready for Jam-Packed information about How to know if he will say, “I love you” AND…How he will Know she is READY to say “I love you too”!

One of the many hints on this show segment is that lots of men have brought up how when they say, “You look beautiful” they get the response of…”No I don’t!” AH! LOL!!  Now… like some men… some women are just “shy or “bashful” in their own way… BUT men usually see this “No I don’t” response as childish and fishing for more compliments (and yes… some women are! But not me… hahah!! Ok me. JK! LOL!). (And some guys take this as a little warning that it could be the same response he’ll get if he says, “I Love You.”) All the men are hoping to hear after a compliment is a nice, “Thank you”… And if she says “Thank you” to his compliments… her kind response could be a great sign that she Does respond to his statements (with cool respectfulness… as Jon points out in the show)… And that she hears him and Believes him!

Romance has its fragile times… and the first “I love you” time is as sensitive as a soap bubble on a puppies nose.  So…with a simple response of “Thank you” to his compliments she is helping build a fabulous comfort level within the relationship… And staying out of that Quicksand! Ahhh!!  ;D

There are a whole lot more Romance tips at the show Link right under my picture above… and you can hit LIKE at the show site!… And you are welcome to listen more than once if you miss any of the points!!  So… please keep moving forward with a life of LOVE AND ROMANCE!  Thank you!!!… Also listen at the end for information about how to call into our new LIVE TV Show in a few days from all Around the World!!  I’m going to EARN that “Nobel Family, Love & Romance Peace Prize”! Even if I do keep adding words to the prize name! LOL!! ;D

LINK: 5 Minute Love Bite With Rhonda Ricardo #3 Flying solo on Valentine’s Day. On the Jon Hansen Show.

Is it better to be single on a holiday?

Holidays are a time when people usually see family… family wants you to be happy, so of course they don’t want you to be single… even if They are upside-down in their relationship, it’s just how it works with loving families.

They want you to be a shining living example of “In love in a romantic relationship” because they love you and want you to be happy.  Also, so they can ask those fun… How did you meet? What is his or her family like? What does he or she do for a living? Does she have a hot sister or brother? questions that make you cringe! LOL!! I’m just kidding around. Really it is nice to have someone special on a holiday… but it seems there are Growing ways to meet: The New Mr. or Ms. Cool-person in your life … ON a Holiday! I’m adding more holiday romance research (and chaos/avoiding chaos… there’s always chaos! haha! It’s just a human fact;) in the New Cherries Over Quicksand.

This show link (above) reveals why it could be fun to be single on Valentine’s Day… and turn super romantic!

I hope everyone enjoys this 5 Minute Love Bites With Rhonda Ricardo on the Jon Hansen Show. Please leave your comments friends!

LINK: 5 Minute Love Bite With Rhonda Ricardo #2 Bringing romance Back on a holiday or birthday. On the Jon Hansen Show

There are so many ways to focus on bringing romance back to relationships on a holiday or birthday… I could not get all the bazillion (;D) ways on this fun link above, there will be more in the new Cherries Over Quicksand, but I did describe 5 Minutes of the Giant Ideas!  ;D  Especially the way she gets 2 gifts and HE has a BIG SMILE on his face! Hee hee!!

What I like about this segment is the part about how a family house filled with children can still be romantic… and how when the kids see the ways mom and dad do little romantic gestures to honor each other during their holiday  preparations… the kids could remember how their parents cherished each other and bring that high level of respect and love to their own marriage years later.  He can surprise her with flowers for the house… She can light candles, where the dogs tail won’t knock it off the hearth and the kids can’t melt action figures! Ha!

I hope everyone listens to this one… It’s rapid-fire romance suggestions that could re-ignite fun and romance in future holidays!! …but be careful with those candles. (Smile)   And Radio Show Host Jon Hansen’s comments at the end are right on! … but he should know… I like hearing him describe his amazing and surprising family!  Very cool. ;D

I’m still working toward my: “ROMANCE AND FAMILY PEACE PRIZE!” for inspiring romance in relationships and keeping families together and happy for generations! I don’t know why this blessing was given to me… but I sure do like it!  And it’s fun! ;D

I better go do something romantic now… I’ll report back… or maybe not this time… mystery is romantic too… but it will involve my pretty new lip gloss and the smell of sizzling bacon… haha! ;D

Please leave your comments below friends!  The comments on FB are fabulous!… I would love to get to know more of you here!!! ;D