We’re facing life after the wedding already?

We all know how the wedding day can be magical. It brings a couple together surrounded by family and friends to pledge their hearts and futures, filled with love, romance, family, happiness, adventure and the kind of togetherness they both know they will be able to count on and give to one another no matter what the future holds.

Their eyes meet, the room is hushed, he kisses his bride and everyone in the room can almost physically feel the extraordinary joy in couple’s hearts. Ah! So why would ANYONE think THIS kind of magic could fade?

Well, that is what I wanted to know because while talking with newlyweds I found out that the rate of this kind of magic disappearing right after the wedding seemed outrageous and completely unnecessary.

And since the main purpose of Cherries Over Quicksand books is to keep marriages and families together and happy, I was on the case.

During my global research for my books I met many newly marrieds who were ready to run, but then suddenly remembered how they couldn’t wait to be a loving spouse and would have been devastated if the proposal had not led to planning their lives together.

Many of these, anxious newly un-singles, were super happy they woke up and stopped acting like their NEW spouse was the LUCKY one, the minute they found their suitcases packed and waiting for them at the door, Phew! Just in time! LOL! And now have wonderful marriages. Thank God. Ahh! But seriously…

The stories of post marriage attitude changes turning completely negative, with the new husband or wife already calling friends and family to voice their panicked concerns that they, “Should have never gotten married!” within weeks of the honeymoon were racking up! BUT Then I met other newlyweds who still melted each other like hot fudge on French vanilla ice cream… well into the second year; “So what’s up with that?” I wondered out loud, and married people were happy to give me their surprise revelations.

Is it possible all newlyweds have the potential to not only, have an enchanting honeymoon but also have romances, just like yummy hot fudge sundaes forever? Mmmm… Hot fudge, I’m getting hungry. LOL!!

First so you know, this is such a secretive subject that when people tell me about their secret wish that their shiny new spouse would INSIST on living in separate apartments or that the first week of their marriage was like being trapped on a hamster wheel in a hall of mirrors, then complained that No one could EVER imagine the marriage chaos they have been bravely enduring… I understood.  But I couldn’t help thinking back as they complained/explained their nightmare dilemma’s.

My mind would return to, the military bases where I spoke with soldiers and the families of returning soldiers dealing with all kinds marriage and family issues due to war, or to homeless shelters where I spoke with people that have met with the kinds of marriage devastation no one could ever expect, and to hospice facilities where some people in their last days wanted to share how they wished they had cherished the romance they could have had with their spouse… And when I was working in Family Law firms where I met Heartbroken people, completely devastated, trying to define the pain in their hearts. So I did not have to imagine, I knew many hard facts… but through it all, I knew even the Most Chaotic stories can end in the Most heroic happy marriages Ever!

So what do the Average newlywed chaos stories include?

They include but are not limited to:

Newlyweds with sleepwalking in-laws that moved in with them their first year of marriage. Newlyweds that had adopted each other’s very “Active” children and had been added to the DON’T ANSWER lists of every babysitter. Couples that have lost their jobs, moved to a city where they didn’t know anyone, had major health issues, crashed their car, grew out of their cloths because they had replaced their sex lives with giant drive-thru banquets … or had come home to find way too many rescued cats living in their bathroom… and THEY still stayed completely IN LOVE! So how do they do it? These are nine popular answers:

  1. The Ladies said to, remember to continue to listen and genuinely admire your man, and express appreciation in full sincere sentences or better, Full body contact ladies. ;D
  2. When a woman gets dressed up or on any day she’s looking fresh, her man should Still compliment her even After they are married! Sorry, guys but you need to be reminded!
  3. Sexual attraction is mostly mental, if he starts leaving his underwear in front of the toilet right where he took them off then she steps over his not-so-whitey-tighties to do her lady-business with the bathroom door open… big surprise:  The sexual attraction is going to fade… (And no pretending you didn’t know… this Should be Obvious everyone!)  So if you do any of the stinky things on the “Men’s or Ladies Don’t do list” continued in the next Cherries Over Quicksand (this list of requests were collected directly from the people that wish their partner would be sexy again)… just stop doing those crazy things and get your romance power back before they can’t shake image of you spitting on your own foot and wiping it on the dog. Ew! It happens!
  4. Men and ladies, Married does not equate to ANTIQUE… you must keep touching… with that sexy touch you used before the marriage and appreciate it when your partner touches you. Passion and sex is relationship glue so smooth any cracks regularly and frequently. That’s right! And make each other smile, Big!
  5. She watched sports with him before the wedding; but now (like many men complained), she turns off his sports and demands dinner at the table every single night! Boo!…. Family time is important but, She could sometimes do something like find a nearby college playing his favorite sport, buy the $7 tickets and surprises him then watches him smile, because his New wife Rocks! Then at the game say, “YES to hotdogs!” No cooking or dishes! Yea!
  6. If he took her out for fun dates before they were married he should continue to want and Offer to take her out… if her eyes light up … he just made big points. A man wanting to show off his wife makes her heart sore through the clouds. It just does guys. If money is an issue, just get outside; go for a walk in the fresh air or even in the rain if that’s something she likes! Just have fun together! Even if she chooses to enjoy the night at home alone with him, he still made Huge Man Points for letting her know that he still loves to show off his bride.
  7. Before getting married, go to some sort of pre-marriage counseling to go over the many surprise changes that happen after marriage because you both need to be sure you will be on the same cheer squad when that stick turns to blue-baby boy triplets blue.   That way you already know you both will be lovingly and Politely taking turns sleeping for the next two years; so cute. Ah! Yawn. LOL!! Babies are Adorable. (I have twin boys so I know… and they already graduated high school. Happy mom!) When you are sure about your love, there should not be any fear of the “Big Hairy Counselor LOL! …Or just scary counselor”… people are so afraid! Just keep holding hands… because marriage can be magical with all the tools.
  8. Path to boring: Acting jealous, fighting over who replaces the toilet paper roll or where to squeeze the toothpaste. If it bugs you that much get your own tube of toothpaste and realize that; a new roll of toilet paper already replaced is super appreciated by your other half, (silently cheering from their seat).  “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” (Proverbs 20:3)                                                                                          [And you Know this is true for men, women and children, so just keep being awesome.]
  1. Spend fun time together at least a few times a week from the very Beginning with refreshments and fresh air… but not necessarily at the same time, relax. When you seed a lawn you must water and it needs sunshine but you can water it at night and let the sun bring that energy to the day. …Metaphors are fun.

These points are for extra credit… and for a little chuckle:

  1. Give each other space. Living with someone all of a sudden can feel a little claustrophobic… especially the fifth time one trips over the other sitting right out side the bathroom door. Not good
  2. Go ahead and use words to make him feel physically BIGGER and her feel physically smaller than her man. With romance women love to feel like they have a powerful man but in a protective way and men like to know she wants the feminine role, even if she is doing her Ninja moves in her new lingerie, he still wants his obvious man-muscles admired.
  3. Lastly for today: Cherish your man or woman with loving understanding like every thought you have about each other will be Broadcasted on HUGE Billboard… because when you Honor each other in your hearts and heads, It shows in your eyes and in your touch. When something disappointing happens, approach the problem with Understand, not Grand-standing. Then if you do end up on a billboard, you will be wearing a well-earned crown.

So… do your pre-wedding homework and remember, flirting with each other after marriage is hot, be thankful for each other, treat Her like the beautiful woman you married and ladies… adore your hot Man! And kiss a lot!! It’s mandatory and baffles other married couples! LOL!! Just kidding. It will inspire other married couples.

Congratulations newlyweds, there are more hints in Cherries Over Quicksand, I look forward to hearing from you here, on Facebook or on the Love Bites with Rhonda and Jon Show comment board! And that’s it for today. ;D

XOXO!

Rhonda Ricardo

Media: For “Love Coach” print, script or broadcast -Dating, Engagement, Wedding, Marriage, Family, Relationship and Romance content you are welcome to contact Rhonda Ricardo at: rhondaricardo@hotmail.com.

Extra: Marriage findings from Woman’s Day Magazine link:  The 10 Most Fascinating Marriage Findings…

What would be pictured on your book cover?   And for extra credit… why?

This is the my 2nd Edition Cherries Over Quicksand book cover. The reason they look so happy is, well for one thing they are a happy couple. My models are family and they make a point of telling people that they have read the book! lol! My favorite response from readers is that… they just want to be nice to their woman or man because they “get it” now, and want to live the fun romance they began with… forever! That’s always pure happiness for me to hear!

It looks like my next book cover will be a deep ruby red and a little mysterious. Now that my readership is over thirty percent male, I am really having fun with the graphic-creative (is that a word? 😉 ) side of authoring.

I am told by industry professionals that the title and the author name should always be readable from across the book store, that the lettering should not be too fancy and the graphics should tell a story or the theme of the book. I like that my books are placed next to Anthony Robbins books (Ricardo… Robbins) on the book shelves, it’s such a cozy and interesting place to be… and very busy!

What would be pictured on your book cover? And why? Can we have a little hint about your story? ;D

Love Bites with Rhonda and Jon: Dating with Romance and Humor

This is our first Love Bites show on-camera after we started our Love Bites radio show in February of 2012.  The set is not up on my side yet but that’s all right because the curiously blank background gives us all a really fast glimpse into Jon’s quick wit right off the bat.  Fun show!

Fun Trivia:  The call-in Love Bites radio show segment Jon references on this YouTube T.V. show produced a happy couple!  Yes, a man and a woman in two different cities in California called into our radio show about dating while raising children, afterwards they decided to meet and have been posting photos of the new couple at scenic designations like boating with super happy/romantic captions and comments.  And yesterday a photo of the couple in a beautiful park having fun with characters putting on a Fall show was posted!  Fun couple… we are very happy for them! ;D

So, dating… especially first dates, can be fun or just a funny story you might tell your grandkids one day but singles should decide to get out there and begin their romantic adventure… a wonderful he or she might walk into their path today.

Guys… yes I know women can be confusing and ladies…even confident guys can be shy too, but there are simple formulas for getting a great first date… and simple ways for her to let him know she wants him to ask her out.  We cover so much fun dating research here between laughter, that the newly dating might want to watch this twice before watching the next episode.  I just re-watched this show and was reminded about the Harley dates and the married ladies with their arms full of babies and groceries while her man is happily bouncing a basketball… those ladies now wish they had let him open their doors on dates so he knows from the beginning that she wants/expects and knows she deserves a gentleman… forever, just like he deserves the lady he wants and expects forever.

I’m not sure how this show moved into the body and mustache hair subject… but Jon wants to know if women like hair or not… how do I answer that? LOL!!   Well, I did and laughed pink-faced at the same time because, well… you’ll see if you have time to watch the show at this link here.  Don’t worry we keep it clean, PG… and smelling pretty! ;D

SHOW LINK: Building to the: I LOVE YOU & I LOVE YOU TOO response…Here on “Love Bites With Rhonda Ricardo” on The Jon Hansen Show

We went out the other night to celebrate the new show’s success with a great dinner and margaritas. Fiesta Time!!!  And of course… There were lots of singles out having a blast and talking about their latest wild, crazy and/or fun romances so I was in Heaven!! LOL!! ;D

It’s funny… when I go out to coffee, there are usually a few people talking about their relationships who will bring me and my friends into their fun conversations and we get to meet cool new people… but when I go out at night it seems like Romance is the topic on everyone’s mind in the place!  So many Romance Questions!! And of course I love it!! ;D

I’m posting the latest “Love Bites with Rhonda Ricardo” on The Jon Hansen Show here at a the LINK… but be ready for Jam-Packed information about How to know if he will say, “I love you” AND…How he will Know she is READY to say “I love you too”!

One of the many hints on this show segment is that lots of men have brought up how when they say, “You look beautiful” they get the response of…”No I don’t!” AH! LOL!!  Now… like some men… some women are just “shy or “bashful” in their own way… BUT men usually see this “No I don’t” response as childish and fishing for more compliments (and yes… some women are! But not me… hahah!! Ok me. JK! LOL!). (And some guys take this as a little warning that it could be the same response he’ll get if he says, “I Love You.”) All the men are hoping to hear after a compliment is a nice, “Thank you”… And if she says “Thank you” to his compliments… her kind response could be a great sign that she Does respond to his statements (with cool respectfulness… as Jon points out in the show)… And that she hears him and Believes him!

Romance has its fragile times… and the first “I love you” time is as sensitive as a soap bubble on a puppies nose.  So…with a simple response of “Thank you” to his compliments she is helping build a fabulous comfort level within the relationship… And staying out of that Quicksand! Ahhh!!  ;D

There are a whole lot more Romance tips at the show Link right under my picture above… and you can hit LIKE at the show site!… And you are welcome to listen more than once if you miss any of the points!!  So… please keep moving forward with a life of LOVE AND ROMANCE!  Thank you!!!… Also listen at the end for information about how to call into our new LIVE TV Show in a few days from all Around the World!!  I’m going to EARN that “Nobel Family, Love & Romance Peace Prize”! Even if I do keep adding words to the prize name! LOL!! ;D

LINK TO SHOW: “5 Minute Love Bite With Rhonda Ricardo” On the Jon Hansen Show. Taking a loving relationship break. Is it a good thing? …odd thing? …a sexy thing?

What kinds of actions have Super-Sexy Relationship Power while on a break?   …showing up later at the front door with your hair cut like your puppy or posting a video of you putting something smelly in their trunk?… hee hee!!! JK!  But there are lots of cool things you can do after a a disagreement to make your relationship stronger… but it is a confusing time… people in love but on a break with hurting hearts have been known to walk like baby ducks on a ski slope,  trip over parking blocks or walk into doors, ouch… as minds tend to wander… so be careful out there!! …and Awesome!  Can a break can be refreshing and energizing… and bring back Hot romance to your relationship?!… Please listen at the link and please leave a comment about the show or your views on taking a loving relationship break!  Thank you!  RhondaImage

LINK TO SHOW: “5 Minute Love Bites With Rhonda Ricardo” Taking the relationship to the next level? On the Jon Hansen Show

Is there a difference between him meeting HER parents and him wanting her to meet HIS parents? Will the parents compare you to the surgeon, bronco riding, astronaut, broadway musical star he or she brought home the last time? Ah! LOL!! ;DImage This is a fun show segment for anyone thinking about taking the relationship to the next level …toward possible marriage, family, kids… the pure joy of committing to the lifelong wild ride of romance with the right person! Does he like traveling and great foods? Does she like fast cars, great literature and giant cows? JK! LOL!! So, what hints have we learned about getting to the point of meeting each others families?… There are 5 full minutes of fun and sometimes hilarious hints shared here in this show segment… the rest along with real-life stories are in the next Cherries Over Quicksand… cool people in this chapter! ;D    

LINK TO SHOW: "5 Minute Love Bite With Rhonda Ricardo". How do you keep the romance hot even while apart? On the Jon Hansen Show

This is a fun chapter in the next Cherries Over Quicksand because I really had to do my romance research!  Men and women could not keep from laughing when they told me what they had imagined their hot man or woman doing when one of them had to travel alone… whether they were the one at home or traveling, their minds could create the most Fantastic images! (Were they literally “Dancing on rooftops” like me?! LOL!!)… And of course they would realize they were being ridicules… or were they? Please listen at the radio show LINK here and let me know what YOU think too!  I hope you love it and can use some of the romance hints shared on the show! ;D

(My new FB friend and fabulous singer/entertainer Ken Johnson put me on this building while I was dancing… wait… put this photo of me on the building… haha!!  You can hear his song “The Long Goodbye – Ken Johnson” on YouTube or see it my Rhonda Ricardo Facebook page.)

Show opening:

“Men and women agree that Touch keeps the Roar in romance, and ‘Good communication’ maintains relationship-Strength.  So what happens if you are in the type of romance you Thought you could have Only dreamt about, with an amazing person that Melts into your arms the moment they come through the door; but then something comes up and they have to travel… Without you?   Hmm?? …” -COQ  (The story continues on the “Love Bites” link to Jon Hanson’s Show above… my giggles and all..I couldn’t help it! Hee hee!! Please enjoy the show friends! And leave your comments too!)

LINK: 5 Minute Love Bites With Rhonda Ricardo. Will you marry me?

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“Will you marry me?”  When it the perfect timing to get the joy-filled “YES” that will lead to a wonderfully romantic married-life adventure together!  I conducted massive research on this question and received ULTRA honest feedback that people wanted me to share NOW… and I did… on the Show and in my next book!…. I’m writing two more chapters of the next Cherries Over Quicksand today AND Show Host Jon Hansen pre-recorded more 5 Minute Love Bites with Me here in California…. while he’s in Canada … and he stayed on the air at the end of the shows to add to the fun! Great day!!! I’m learning how to post these blogs with more componants and it’s asking for a quote so here I go: “Cherries Over Quicksand: Sharing ways to keep romance, passion and humor in relationships to help build strong and happy families” ;D

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LINK: 5 Minute Love Bite With Rhonda Ricardo #3 Flying solo on Valentine’s Day. On the Jon Hansen Show.

Is it better to be single on a holiday?

Holidays are a time when people usually see family… family wants you to be happy, so of course they don’t want you to be single… even if They are upside-down in their relationship, it’s just how it works with loving families.

They want you to be a shining living example of “In love in a romantic relationship” because they love you and want you to be happy.  Also, so they can ask those fun… How did you meet? What is his or her family like? What does he or she do for a living? Does she have a hot sister or brother? questions that make you cringe! LOL!! I’m just kidding around. Really it is nice to have someone special on a holiday… but it seems there are Growing ways to meet: The New Mr. or Ms. Cool-person in your life … ON a Holiday! I’m adding more holiday romance research (and chaos/avoiding chaos… there’s always chaos! haha! It’s just a human fact;) in the New Cherries Over Quicksand.

This show link (above) reveals why it could be fun to be single on Valentine’s Day… and turn super romantic!

I hope everyone enjoys this 5 Minute Love Bites With Rhonda Ricardo on the Jon Hansen Show. Please leave your comments friends!